Gender Elitism from the Elite Daily

Lauren Martin is a writer for Elite Daily, and she wrote a beautifully condescending piece on why women should ask men out. There is apparently a lack of appropriate suitors for single women. Lauren’s explanation is not that there is culture of fear and mistrust perpetuated by years of gynocentric diatribe, it’s that men are a bunch of pussies.

We’re dealing with a new breed of men here and it’s not the kind we grew up dreaming about. It’s the want-what-I-want-but-don’t-know-how-to-get-it type; it’s the sweet and cuddly mama’s boys who grow up terrified of making the first move; it’s the guys who have so much to say but don’t know how to say it.

Now, the unfortunate paradox for a woman is that she must be the chased and the chaser. She must be the target and the shooter. She must play coy and simultaneously pursue him. […]  Yet again, women are left to do all the work. We’re left playing both sides of the game because they’ve simply forgotten how to play.

This is the kind of perspective that can only be developed if your moral compass is strapped to a magnet. If your entire perspective on the dating scene has no inclusion for the perspective of the “breed” you don’t like, then, I don’t know, start a farm for purebreds? Seems like you’d be perfectly content locking up the 1990s Pierce Brosnans in stables for future resale.

It stems from a number of factors, but most prominently from the fact that men don’t know what the hell they want from us. They want the virgin and the whore. The want the slut and the good girl. They want the girl who’s hard to get, but they don’t know how to get her.

No, men want trust. Other perks such as emotional stability, intelligence and a rockin’ body are factors that are weighed. And if any of those things are deal-breakers to some guys, then that’s up to them. Don’t like what a guy wants? Don’t date him.

There are men on the dating scene in a state of confusion because gendered communication is a minefield that can result in slanderous allegations of sexual assault, or worse. If a man is too up front with his desire, he will be cast as creepy or even dangerous. But if he’s too withdrawn, he’s a pussy that’s making women do all of the work?

I call bullshit.

How many people ask you out, Laura? I can’t help but imagine that the men willing to ask you out after reading your article are, ironically, pussies. It takes a man with no self-esteem to read your article and then come to you for validation.

Because they don’t know what they want, they end up chasing nothing. It’s the dilemma of the overcrowded buffet. There are too many options so they choose an empty plate… or something they don’t even like to begin with.

You just described life, Socrates. Are you suggesting that you posses god-like powers of deduction that made you not only know exactly what you want from love and life, but the capacity to never be disappointed with whatever you get? After writing about how disappointed you are in men? You’re beyond pretending that you’ve reached the Nirvana of the dating scene.

This leaves women making all the moves. We must tell them what they want if we’re to get anywhere close to the goals we had for ourselves. But it will never be as we fully imagined because, in our dreams, men weren’t timid or scared little boys; in our dreams, men are the ones with the balls to ask us out.

Laura, if you projected any harder you could play movies. No, you need to tell men what you want. I’m not talking about writing snarky editorials, I’m talking about say what you expect to a man’s face. When men are confronted with something other than a nebula of conflicting preferences, you can trust them to make a clear decision.

For example, I refuse to get too close to anyone who thinks I can’t be trusted with my own thoughts. This is one of many reasons why we would never date.

Keep a log of the kind of men that stick around you, and perhaps reflect on how your words influence your social standing.

Oh, shoot. There I go victim-blaming again.

They’ll never admit it, but you scare the hell out of them. […] Men are shy, timid and scared sh*tless of any woman with half a brain.

Actually, this is completely true. Men are scared of women with half a brain because they prefer women with whole brains. The women with whole brains have empathy, compassion and a capacity to reason. The women with half a brain end up writing for the Elite Daily.

It’s said that the male ego is as fragile as a woman’s heart and unfortunately for women, men won’t take the chance of letting it shatter. While women willingly put themselves out there, men stand back, scared of the tiniest bruise on their overinflated self-image

Almost. Men are scared of the massive beatdown that can be inflicted by other men and the state if a woman expresses a little discomfort. Do you know what that environment can do?

We must put ourselves out there and risk rejection. Because if we don’t do it, bars will soon be exactly like those middle school dances: boys on one side, girls on the other.

It’s already like that, and it’s precisely because women have been valued to the point where the cost for a relationship is prohibitive. Congratulations, you gave another reason for men to be on strike.

Why are men like this? Well, for years they’ve been raised by their mamas, the women who told them they were the best thing God created on this earth. For years, they’ve been given everything on a silver platter — up until the end of college when they were picking up women who just threw up their jungle juice.

Look at the statistics for the number of boys abused by single mothers, and you’ll have an idea of how many men you just pissed off.

Of course, some mothers have raised great men. This isn’t to discredit the generation of mothers before us who raised the myriad of young men we’re dealing with today. But for the select few who didn’t teach them how to properly court a woman, well, shame on you.

Yeah, shame those moms, because moms are supposed to give single women quality cock.

But honestly, what the hell is wrong with you?

Men, on the other hand, always seem to be waiting for something better. In the age of Facebook and Instagram, there’s this constant filtered delusion that a hotter girl sits just an inbox away.

Type “huge bulging Bugles” into Google image search and tell me with a straight face that sexually active women don’t sneak peeks at the results from time to time.

In a sad, but not all that surprising, report by Nickelodeon UK, men are 11 years behind women in maturity. While women reach maturation by 32, men aren’t fully matured until 43. While this study garnered much attention, women everywhere were less than surprised. Didn’t we already know this?

Did you just cite Nickelodeon?

We’re dating less and thus, marrying less. And the downfall picks up speed with every failed attempt to ask a woman out.

No, the downfall picks up speed when more men realize they are worth something.

All your talk, and I see you write no reason why you deserve love from a man.

Thank you, Laura, for your typographical depiction of lipstick-streaked vomit. I hope your less significant other finds joy in being the ottoman for your throne, right before you sell him on Craigslist after dropping too many Cheetos crumbs down his butt crack, you lunatic.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s